Last year was a blessing for sure. Not only did I have another year of education and time to spend with family and loved ones, I also got to experience new things and make awesome connections.
I am usually always a positive person. I consider the cup half full, but last year I had my doubts. From my personal relationship, friendships and financial troubles last year was what I would call a train wreck! Only thing that kept me going was faith,a determined hustling mindset and a FEW people close to me.
When you’re at your low points and everything seems to be going wrong or downhill its so easy to make rash decisions and feel like giving up. I’ll admit I thought about alternatives to school or how I could get some money quick. I realized I had to just give this thing called life all I could and I’d get even more in return (see thats the positive side in me again).
I seriously had to take a moment to realize just how much I have already overcame and accomplished. Then I had to take a second to think about how many things I wanted to accomplish. The life I wanted to live.
When they are great they are GREAT. But honey when they are bad, they are horrific. I won’t get too into detail about me personally but what I will say is my first real relationship taught me a lot. I feel like I was naive about a lot of things and put others feelings before mine. It seemed like everything happened so fast and I was so “in love” I never stopped to think about what I wanted to do and what would make me happy.
Once the relationship ended I went through different phases. You know the “F*ck him” phase, the “I’m gonna find someone else, someone better phase,” the “Maybe we can work it out phase.” I soon realized doing the same thing does really produce the same outcome. Exes cannot be friends in my opinion. Especially not right away after a break up. There are usually feelings that linger and messing around on and off won’t help much. I had my jealous moments and dreaded the thought of him moving on.
Happy to say I’m over that and in a much better place.
“Ain’t no feeling like being F R E E”
*One major lesson I learned was NEVER let your partner make you feel bad for something they did. Go with your first mind, its usually right. Don’t put up with anything less than you deserve. your 20s are your time to have fun and chase those dreams. Don’t let anyone hold you back!
I consider myself a great friend. I try to for the most part always be there and give good advice. If I got it you got it… you need me I’m there type of deal.
I have (had) various groups of people I considered friends due to school, college and work. One major thing I have grown to realize is that not everyone will remain your friend after school or a (petty) disagreement. I am a firm believer that people grow apart and it is okay to lose people along the way if they don’t see you’re a true friend or appreciate your friendship.
I have friends from high school that I don’t have to talk to everyday or every week but If I need them I know they will be there and vice versa. That constitutes a solid friendship in my opinion. I am a college student, work 30 hours plus and I am involved in student organizations. I cannot always keep up with everyone but my intentions are always good.
The problem is when there is an issue, in my experience, people talk about each other instead of addressing issues face to face or reach a breaking point before they say something.
I had a few friends who felt I changed and didn’t care about the friendship. While that wasn’t true I felt people did not understand the person I was becoming or the things I was doing/ dealing with. Sometimes you outgrow people and friendships and thats okay too.
*Friends do not compete, they encourage each other to level up
*Real Friends don’t get mad that you have other friends (emphasis on the real part) or that you talk to or hang out with some more than others
*Friends reach out when they know you are going through something
*Friends look out for each other
At the end of the day friends come and go but learn from every situation and know how to move differently.
What I did do during the period of losing a boyfriend, friends and struggling financially I realized I had to do it for myself. I had to keep going and do the best I could. I did not need to depend on anyone but me for my happiness and success. I am accountable for that. I am continuously growing and learning more about my capabilities/ potential everyday.
“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.”
I’m sure some people out there can relate or understand my thoughts in this piece. COMMENT your thoughts!